Monday, 21 November 2011

It's perfectly normal in my world.

I never set out to be weird. It was other people who called me weird.  ~ Frank Zappa

Took the things that fell out of my head to a market on Saturday and was met with the usual responses – love it, it’s weird, how do you come up with this, you’re not normal, lots of giggles and people that just walked by but of all the comments one keeps going around my head:

I’m worried about what you’ve lived through to come up with this so young.

It’s not the first time someone has said something along the same lines. People who have only heard small parts of my life tell me I should write a book about it. But it’s just life isn’t it?? Ok so living for years with an unknown then near impossible to get a positive diagnosis chronic rare funky disease isn’t everyone’s life but has it really been that different? Has it really been as bad as people make it out to be? Honestly, sometimes it’s been worse. But it’s just my normal. So why does it worry so many people? Hasn’t everyone had to fight and deal with something in their life?

As for the young part, how old to you have to be to live? How old until you’re old enough to deal with the bad things in the world? It seems as the younger you learn to deal with hell the better you get at it, maybe you end up a little screwed up, a little cynical and weird but I’d rather be this than get to now or 50 or 64 and not know how to cope when everything all falls apart.

I could write a book but it would be 30 pages for a few weeks of bouncy madness and then one line for 9 months: I was too sick to get out of bed, I would have offed myself if I could have moved faster than a snail going backwards. Not exactly a riveting story you have when there has been more of the too sick to function than of the bouncing.

The weird head stuff is never far away though, maybe I could just write about that: Today I spent all day in bed with the pain of my hair ripping though my skin as it grew but it was ok because a five headed flying rat kept me company. I see it as a children’s book, fully illustrated…

Eyes are occupied with: Stardust - Neil Gaiman
Ears buzzing from: Gotye